A twenty-something, relatively normal-looking man approached my store's new manager, Charles, very upset about the fact that the employees were wearing headsets. Charles told him he was very sorry, there was nothing that he could do about it, and that the man was welcome to make a written complaint that would perhaps be presented to corporate. The man's written complaint is currently hanging up in our back room because it's just... priceless.
"In your store, employees wear electromagnetic emittion devices strapped to their skulls. This will cause cancer, undoubtedly. It is not safe or sane to force your employees to get cancer by wearing radio's strapped to their skulls. It is all for show, and a deadly one at that. If the policy is not changed, I will take this public in my blogs, and you will deal with the (S word) storm."
(I gave up swearing for Lent. That's why I censored this man's passionate letter.)
If I could meet this man, I would probably say, "Hello man. Thank you so much for your concern for my life. I've tried to take the issue public in my blog, unfortunately I don't have many followers so hopefully you will get a better outcome. In return for your helpfulness, let me help you by telling you, the word is 'emission' (although spelling it correctly still doesn't make that sentence make sense), and there is no apostrophe when pluralizing the word radio. A man with such a tremendous blog-following should be well-equipped the sword of spelling and the shield of grammar. We certainly cannot have the enemy laughing at you, or they will not take you seriously. Again, I thank you for your consideration of my skull, and I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors."
